10/01/2005

Street Prophets: Genesis 4th chapter, XXIst century edition: George: A hands on Jonah

Genesis 4th chapter, XXIst century edition: George: A hands on Jonah
by lawnorder [Subscribe] [Edit Diary]
Sat Oct 1st, 2005 at 18:17:43 PDT

This is a work of fiction. If anyone deems it offensive I offer my sincerest apologies. No bibles were harmed to produce this diary

* lawnorder's diary :: ::
*

4:6 The Lord God appointed a cadre of faithful Christians and caused them to support and serve George, to be a shield over his misdeeds, to rescue him from the misery George's opponents threw at him. Now George was very delighted about his Christian Right followers
4:7 So God sent a worm of doubt over his Christian Right followers.. the courts ordered the feeding tubes removed from Terri, a woman whose brain was in vegetative state, so that she died of dehydration.
4:8 When the sun light started to shine on Bush's team many misdeeds, God sent a hot wind of public outrage towards George's allies corrupt deeds and his seat at the WH started getting hot. But the worm of doubt had dried George's usual source of blind support. So the religious right beat down on George's head, and his support among the Christian Right started growing faint . So he and his allies despaired, and said, " We would rather destroy the US Judiciary and the US Constitution than lose our beloved Christian Right support. Terri must not die but live!

Genesis 4th chapter, XXIst century edition: George: A hands on George

George Tries to Run from the Lord

1:1 The Lord said to George W son of George H

1:2 "Go immediately to Nineveh, a large capital city on the East, and announce judgment against its people because their wickedness has come to my attention."

1:3 Instead George immediately headed off to parties and drinking to escape from the commission of the Lord. He traveled to Texas and found a Air Force base training pilots heading to a distant war. So he paid the fare and went aboard the TANG to go with them to a distant seaport in Vietnam far away from the Lord.

1:4 But the Lord hurled a powerful mass of anti-war protesters their way. Such a violent tempest of protests about the war it was, that the country threatened to break up!

1:5 The war backers were so afraid that each cried out to his own god and they flung propaganda and violence, going overboard and even killing protesters to make them cool down. George, meanwhile, had gone down into a drinking binge, deserting his TANG post and was completely oblivious to the turbulence, as if asleep.

1:6 His CO approached him and said, "What are you doing drunk? Get up! Cry out to your dad! Perhaps your dad might take notice of us so that our way of life might not die!"

1:7 The soldiers said to one another, "Come on, let's catch the bad seeds so that we might find out whose fault it is that this dishonor has fallen upon us." So they poured through records and George was singled out.

1:8 They said to him, "Tell us, whose fault is it that this dishonor has fallen upon us? What's your station? From where do you come? What is your base ? And who are your people?"

1:9 He said to them, "I am a son of Bush! And I come from a long line of powerful people!

1:10 Hearing this, the men became afraid and said to him, "What have you done? The men said this because they knew that he was trying to escape from the TANG because he had previously told them.

1:11 Because the public opinion storm was growing worse and worse, they said to him, "What should we do to you so that the your dad's friends won't come for us?"

1:12 He said to them, "Pick me up and send me to Vietnam because I know it's my fault you are in this pickle

1:13 Instead, they tried to give him an honorable way to desert but they were not able to do it because the public opinion storm was growing even worse and too much tampering would attract suspicion

1:14 So they cried out to the top brass, "Oh, please, don't let us go to jail on account of this man

1:15 So they picked George `s military records and threw most of them away while backdating an honorable discharge of George from the TANG.

1:16 The men greatly feared the Lord, and earnestly vowed to pray to the Lord.

George Prays

1:17 The Lord sent a huge booze addiction to swallow George, and George was in the clutches of alcoholism for years and years.

2:1 George prayed to the Lord his God from deep inside his addiction

2:2 and said, "I called out to the Lord from my distress, and he answered me; from the belly of despair I cried out for help, and you heard my prayer

2:3 You cast me into the depths of addiction, into the middle of a sea of indignity ; the dishonor engulfed me; all the mighty waves you sent swept over me.

2:4 I thought I had been banished from your sight, that I would never again see your holy temple!

2:5 Alcohol engulfed me up to my neck; the deep despair surrounded me; dementia was wrapped around my head.

2:6 I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the gates of the netherworld barred me in forever; but you brought me up from the Pit, O Lord, my God.

2:7 When my life and my family were ebbing away, I called out to the Lord, and my prayer came to your holy temple.

2:8 Those who worship worthless alcohol or drugs forfeit the mercy that could be theirs

2:9 But as for me, I promise to offer a sacrifice to you with a public declaration of praise; I will surely do what I have promised. Salvation belongs to the Lord!

2:10 Then the Lord commanded George's friends and family and they helped George stay "dry " and arrive on the White House

The People of Nineveh Respond to George's Warning

3:1 The Lord said to George a second time,

3:2 "Go immediately to Nineveh, that large city, and proclaim to it the message that I tell you.

3:3 So George immediately started a campaign to scare Nineveh, as the Lord had said. (Now Nineveh was an enormous region-- it required thousands of troops to conquer it!)

3:4 When George began to approach Nineveh's vicinity , he announced, "At the end of UN inspections, Saddam will be overthrown!

3:5 The people of Nineveh believed in US and the UN, and they decided not to fight, from the greatest to the least of them.

3:6 When the news reached the king of Nineveh, Saddam rose from his throne, took off his royal robe, put on sackcloth, and sat on a spider hole.

3:7 He issued a proclamation and said, "In Nineveh, by the decree of the king and his nobles--Let neither scientists nor military, general nor soldier, poison anything; let them produce no WMD and let them destroy them

3:8 Let every scientist and military men put on sackcloth and let them talk earnestly to UN inspectors, and let every one turn from their evil way of devising and manufacturing WMD and from the violence that they do.

3:9 Who knows? Perhaps the US and the UN might be willing to change their minds and relent and turn from their fierce anger so that we might not die.

3:10 When God saw their actions--they turned from their evil way of living!--God relented concerning the judgment he had threatened them with and he did not destroy them. So he instructed the UN to veto any war resolution

George Responds to God's Kindness

4:1 This terribly displeased George and he became very angry.

4:2 He prayed to the Lord and said, "Oh, Lord, this is just what I thought would happen when I was in my own happy go lucky life. This is what I tried to prevent by trying to escape into drugs and booze --because I knew that you are gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in mercy, and one who relents concerning threatened judgment.

4:3 So now, Lord, I will kill them with my own army instead, because I would rather my soldiers and thousands of civilians die than let Saddam in power!

4.4 The Lord said, "Are you really so very angry?

4:5 George sent his troops, commanding them from miles away, on the WH, made a shelter for himself there, and stayed safely under his bubble of yes-man while his troops and civilians got slaughtered on the war with Nineveh

4:6 The Lord God appointed a cadre of faithful Christians and caused them to support and serve George, to be a shield over his misdeeds, to rescue him from the misery George's opponents threw at him. Now George was very delighted about his Christian Right followers

4:7 So God sent a worm of doubt over his Christian Right followers. He made sure that they took on the cause of a family's personal tragedy when the courts ordered the feeding tubes removed from Terri, a woman whose brain was in vegetative state, so that she dried up and died of dehydration.

4:8 When the sun light started to shine on Bush's team many misdeeds, God sent a hot wind of public outrage towards George's allies corrupt deeds and his seat at the WH started getting hot. But the worm of doubt had dried George's usual source of blind support. So the religious right beat down on George's head, and his support among the Christian Right started growing faint . So he and his allies despaired, and said, " We would rather destroy the US Judiciary and the US Constitution than lose our beloved Christian Right support. Terri must not die but live!

4:9 God said to George, "Are you really so very angry about Terri's fate?" And he said, " I am as angry as I could possibly be!"

4:10 The Lord said, "You were upset about this woman's losing her life, a life for which you have worked against with your malpractice and indigent long term care refusal laws and you blocked any research that would do anything to cure her by making her brain cells grow. She lived despite of your laws and died several years ago.

4:11 Should I not be even more concerned about Nineveh and the Middle East ? There are more than one hundred twenty thousand million people in it as well as many animals governing it!

Street Prophets: Genesis 4th chapter, XXIst century edition: George: A hands on Jonah

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