10/02/2005

Pharyngula - Mark Steyn, space-dwelling robot brain

Pharyngula rocks! -- law

Mark Steyn, space-dwelling robot brain

Mark Steyn responds to a request to distance himself from the "intelligent-design rubbish bandwagon" and, well, he can't do it.

the evolutionists' insistence that we're just another "animal" seems perverse and irrational and refuted by a casual glance out the window. I am coming round to the view that hyper-rationalism is highly irrational.

That's a truly remarkable upchuck there, and it's impressive how much he got wrong...

His last ideas—that he lives in a world dominated and shaped by his species, as he can tell simply by looking out his window—are chilling..

He must not possess a gut populated by intestinal bacteria. We are at their mercy; without them, we suffer horribly for a while and die.

He must live in a world without parasites or other small creatures. I'm a home to all kinds of interesting invertebrates nesting in my eyelashes and pores and crawling on my skin.

He must not have any wooden furniture in his home, or plastic…made from the carbon left by ancient forests.

He must not eat. We human beings are heterotrophs, entirely dependent on the production of other organisms as an energy source.

It's a good thing he doesn't eat, or he'd have to excrete—without any bacteria or fungi or nematodes or flatworms, the shit would just pile up (this would explain his written output, though).

Steyn must never, ever have a cold, or the flu, or an infection.

Good ol' dirt. It's made by the action of wind and sun and ice on rock, processed by bacteria and fungi and more of those tiny creatures invisible from Mark Steyn's window. We didn't make it. They did.

And oh, my gosh…oxygen! Our entire atmosphere is the product of action by billions of years of work by bacteria and algae and plants! There must not be any air where he lives.

... There's a world of millions of species living outside my door, built from the struggles of millions more over billions of years, and all he sees is one.

Perhaps we've found that Intelligent Designer—an inorganic mind living outside of our universe, in a dark, empty vacuum, cooly contemplating our messy little planet. And that machine-like intelligence is Mark Steyn.

Either that, or he's so damn dumb he's oblivious to the real world around him.
Pharyngula

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