10/11/2005

The Military Homeschooler C: We're Against Beating Our Children With Sticks

Not all homeschoolers beat their children or approve of it. But some do, and unfortunately there is nothing that can be done until tey really injure a child. A regular school would call the law much sooner -- law

The title of this page came from an online friend during an e-list discussion concerning the sale of sticks intended for punishing children. Years ago I was also a member of a support group where one member undertook a 'ministry' of giving away to anyone who wanted one, copies of a book whose authors advocate physically causing children pain in order to modify the children's behavior. The mothers who accepted the books all appeared to love their children very much, so I don't know why they wanted a book telling them how to create situations inviting the children to misbehave so that the children could receive 'corrective' pain. Isn't that what happens to lab rats?

Some people believe that children come into the world needing to be saved and other people believe that children come into the world fresh from the realm of angels. There is no way to objectively prove either theory so, as parents, we must make the best choice we know how. Because of this the subject of disciplining children is a touchy one. Some people believe that spanking is an acceptable way to communicate with children, while others don't.

I myself changed from a person who felt that the occasional swat on the bottom did no harm, to a person who doesn't think that hitting someone who may be only 1/5th my size is an adult thing to do...

I'm sad to say that this isn't the case in my 'homeschooling family.' Physical punishment is not only encouraged in some circles, but is underwritten by the sale of devices whose sole purpose is to be used to strike a child. The pictures I've seen of these items remind me of the riding crops my daughters carry when they're having lessons on difficult horses. The big difference is that on the models sold for disciplining children there is no protective woven cover such as on those sold for use on horses. Who are these children and babies, whose skin is tougher than horsehide?

Unconditional Loving
Commentator Arti Srivastava believes many mothers in the U.S. try to train their children to be independent too early. (NPR)

How Children Really React to Control
"When one person tries to control another, you can always expect some kind of reaction from the controllee. The use of power involves two people in a special kind of relationship - one wielding power, and the other reacting to it.

"This seemingly obvious fact is not usually dealt with in the writings of the dare-to-discipline advocates. Invariably, they leave the child out of the formula, omitting any reference to how the youngster reacts to the control of his or her parents or teachers."

Gentle Christian Mothers
"Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. They claim to be Biblical, yet they misuse Scripture and weaken and strip parents of an essential God-given gift--their intuition, and leave them unprepared for parenting."





The Military Homeschooler Controversial Topics: We're Against Beating Our Children With Sticks webpage

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