10/09/2005

Daily Kos: Gossip from Across the Pond - 1

Gossip from Across the Pond - 1
by Welshman [Subscribe]
Sun Oct 9th, 2005 at 09:51:46 CDT

I thought I might try a weekend gossip diary from over here, simply because no one here is talking about Plame and has ever heard of Meirs. So, it might make a change but it will obviously contain nothing of importance, whatsoever.

Of course, I could get my knuckles rapped by Kos for being off topic on his beloved site. I mean, what has a Brit's retarded view - worse, a Welshman's view - of important events got to do with the Senate race in Iowa or wherever (indeed, where is Iowa?). If that happens I will drop this and get back on track and deal only with key US domestic issues. I will immediately publish a diary entitled "Does God Exist?" to show that I am perfectly aware of mainstream political arguments affecting the election of Assemblymember Joseph 'Joe' Hardy to District 20 - State-Assembly (R-NV) (This is the first time that Assembleymember Joe Hardy has ever been mentioned on DKos and I hope that he will be grateful to a Welshman for having suddenly lifted his profile so dramatically - especially as I have no idea who he is or what he has ever done or said.)..

America Once Again Saves UK Monarchy.

There are times when we in Britain feel guilty that we have become far too disrespectful to our dear Queen and have left it up to all of you in the USA, as one of the few true monarchist-supporting-nations in the Western world, to prop up this noble institution as you have so often done in the past.

There is a whole industry at work in the UK trying to position what some are unkind enough to call "the nonprincess Camilla" into the Royal entourage. It has not been unsuccessful. From "They should never marry" to "Oh, O.K. why not but she should never be Queen?" they have moved public opinion in the UK some distance...

The problem is that it needs a huge extra push to reach the ultimate goal of getting us ready for the final step of accepting Queen Camilla when the time comes. The need is to raise her profile. Yet the only thing that they can do is send her and Charles on an overseas "Royal Visit". It is, after all, the only thing that the Royal family actually does. So the big question was where to send them. Australia - you are joking,, cobber. Then how about Canada? The good old Canucks will accept them. Hardly. Didn't they try to arrest George Bush on his last visit there?

No, it had to be somewhere that would really treat them with the respect that their position deserves. The United States is the obvious answer. So you are going to have them with you. (Please email me if you are short of little Union Jack flags to wave as you line up in the streets of DC and I will send you a supply of some very colourful ones sent to Wales for the last royal visit that have never been used.)

Now, don't get all strange about the fact that she is no Princess Di. I agree that Di was a fair swap for you giving us Madonna (or was it Britney Spiers?). You should regard Camilla's visit as being not much different from a visit to us of Barbara Bush. So wave your flags as you did for your own royal family outside the Houston Astradome...

My real worry is that George Bush will be seeing them not just once, but twice. Now, I have to ask what the tree-hugging advocate of talking-to-your-flowers-to-encourage-their-blooming, environmentalist Charles has in common with George that he is being given the chance of two appearances in the presence of the Emperor? I can only imagine the diplomatic horse-trading that occurred (Sorry Camilla, that metaphor may sound insensitive). What did the British ambassador promise in exchange for this honour. Uh-huh. Camilla may have the face that launched a thousand bombs on Iran.

Whatever,. as a committed monarchist myself, for perverse reasons that one day I may explain when I need a troll rating, I am extremely grateful to you all for your help once again in underwriting the validity of our royal family in the form of these two elderly dudes. It won't be too onerous. After all, you put up with Sarah Ferguson (oops, I mean the Duchess of York) on your TV screens.

I assure you that the British press will be full of the event - even if you do not notice that it occurs.

The French Succession Could Be A Greater Threat Than Charles And Camilla

Insiders tell me that French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin is the front runner to succeed Chirac.



You remember him? The suave, eloquent speaker at the United Nations that condemned the proposed US action against Iraq in a speech that drew unprecedented applause at the end. It was, having watched it live, an extra-ordinary piece of oratory that I would place amongst the best that I have ever heard.

Therein lies the problem. It is bad enough having Jerome a Paris on here showing us how the English language can be so eloquently used without having this man de Villepin, the silver-haired, immaculate self-published poet and author of several books about contemporary French culture and a biography of Napoleon, as a world leader. He is so damn charming, good looking and erudite ( de Villepin I mean, not Jerome ...although I am sure Jerome is....and I'm not saying he is not, it is just that this is about Villepin not Jerome.... I always seem to upset Jerome on here).

At the moment,the rest of us can feel comfortable with the over-weight, slow moving Chirac alongside our own pygmies. At least George and Tony are not overwhelmed, particularly as all three are on their last legs. Not so if de Villepin gets in there. Expect all sort of restlessness from your partners. Wives will start to look at you oddly, girl friends start to send you all sorts of post-shave lotions and your dog will stop sniffing around your crotch. It will be even worse for our gay colleagues. This man is what all Frenchmen pretend to be but never really achieve. With the exception of Jerome, of course (Phew! Only just remembered to add that).

It will be particularly embarrassing for Charles and Camilla because de Villepin is REAL royalty having attended one of those elitist French academies, the Ecole Nationale d'Administration, that show you that he has true blue blood.

Of Bush and God

Well, the BBC is a bit embarrassed now about its "exclusive" that God speaks directly to George (although as we all know that, one must ask what makes it an exclusive?) ..

We are not to take it literally, say the BBC, although many British newspapers have had a field day with the story. It is almost as if they don't like George. So, there. It has now been all cleared up...

There was a time when Lincoln was asked if God was on his side during the Civil War. "I just hope that we are on God's side" was the humble and sanely measured reply. That was in less sophisticated times, however, when diaries on DKos did not exist for the Deity to speak through.


Daily Kos: Gossip from Across the Pond - 1

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