9/24/2005

Daily Kos: Intelligent Designer Laments Lapse in Intelligence

God gets it of Her chest and apologizes for Pat Roberts... -- law

Intelligent Designer Laments Lapse in Intelligence
by mrblifil

... there are a few apologies I need to get to. First of all:

Male nipples -- true story: I was momentarily distracted by wormhole density issues and I just plain fucking forgot how stupid they would end up looking. So sorry for that, believe me if you knew what it would entail to undo that little slip, you'd tell me "DON"T go there!"

Whale penises -- again, me on a roll, Cetaceans, just trying to see how big the muthafuckers can get, when I realize, shit now how they gonna, you know... procreate? I dunno, I was rushed for time and I just went with the most obvious choice. Embarrasing, I know. Don't hate me for it.

Tectonic Plates -- OK work with me on this, because you gotta understand from my vantage point they are a thing of beauty, but I can see how for y'all they can get your panties in a bunch. So, sorry `bout that. We'll all just have to deal.

Religious Fundamentalism -- at first it gave me kind of a head rush and all, but now I have to admit it's become more of a big annoying migraine. The Relpax two-bottle version. (In the interest of full disclosure, let it be known that Relpax and I have a little agreement) Sometimes, I really would like to have a break and take a vacation from it all, but trust me, whenever I try to get away, it's like "Been There. Done That."

What else? My mind's kinda wandering right now. Oh yeah the Devonian period. What was I thinking? Also comet-borne retroviruses. That's just me showing off. Joan Rivers. I'll be a few millennia living that one down. South American Fire Ants. No real reason. No real reason at all. Double-headed babies. I'll admit it. I was pissed off about something. Now I don't even remember what. Plus you gotta believe me, if I had known there wouldn't be enough biomass back in the day to convert to petroleum for when it was y'all's turn to use it, I would have tweaked the recipe to make more.

Anyway, I'm gonna take a nap for a few centuries, so until you figure out the whole cryopreservation and time travel tip, let me just say to you today: I fucked up. I know. I'm sorry. There's plenty I didn't cover, but I never claimed to be infallible. That's for losers. In fact I've never claimed shit, all reports to the contrary. I suppose if I had it to do all over again...wait a minnit. That gives me an idea...

Daily Kos: Intelligent Designer Laments Lapse in Intelligence

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