Daily Kos: I'll believe that when someone spots a white giraffe

Cheers and Jeers: Thursday
by Bill in Portland Maine
Thu Sep 29th, 2005 at 08:14:42 CDT



The big scam racing through the internets is the "news" that Tom DeLay was indicted on a charge of conspiring to violate Texas political fundraising laws. Not only that, but---get this---the prosecutor has indicted four times as many Democrats as Republicans!!

Yeah, right. Tom DeLay---the most powerful politician in half a dozen solar systems---got indicted by a guy who mainly goes after Democrats. Puh-leez!

I'll believe that when someone spots a white giraffe.

Or the House passes a hate crimes law.

Or President Bush snatches defeat from the jaws of his election victory...

...or even asks Americans to---snort!---conserve energy!

Or they get photographic proof of a squid the size of Pittsburgh.

Or Bill Frist finds himself in the middle of an embarrassing SEC investigation.

Or some guy builds up 40,000 volts of static electricity in his clothing and sets an office on fire.

Or---let's just say it---when pigs fly.

Nice try. But I wasn't born yesterday, y'know.

Cheers and Jeers starts in the reality-based section of the buh-logosphere... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

MEGA CHEERS to the fall of Tom Delay. I will never, EVER, get a buzz like the one I got when I read the news of his indictment. I tasted colors. I heard flavors. I saw sounds. I floated. And I don't remember this part, but there's a $500 fine on my dining room table for "...riding a burro naked down Forest Avenue while yelling `Take that, beeotch!'" It's weird because normally I don't say anything during my commute.

JEERS to Delay'd reactions. Normally I don't send people into the raptors' den, but check out Wednesday's news stories at Little Green Footballs and tell me if something is missing. I wonder if they have palm trees in prison?

CHEERS to reality. Between DeLay's indictment, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's insider-trading investigation, etc. etc., it's hitting the GOP like a frying pan in the face:

"Even though DeLay has nothing to do with Frist, and Frist has nothing to do with Abramoff, how does it look? Not good."
---William Kristol, editor of The Weekly Standard

"When you couple Iraq, Katrina, DeLay in the House, Frist in the Senate...it looks like 10 years is a long time for a party to be in power. And when you add to that gas prices and home-heating prices that are going through the ceiling this winter, it shouldn't give much comfort to the Republicans."
---Joe Gaylord, Republican consultant

"When you pile it on top of everything else---Iraq, Katrina, gas prices---it's pretty grim. We're still waiting for some sign of good news, something our candidates can run on. This isn't it. The Democrats will make the case that Republicans are too busy dealing with their own ethical issues to care about the problems facing the country. And guess what? That charge worked pretty well for us in '92 and '94."
---Unidentified Republican strategist


JEERS to half-baked Brownies. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it gets worse (emphasis mine):

An internal FEMA audit released today shows former director Michael Brown was warned weeks before Hurricane Katrina hit that his agency's backlogged computer systems could delay supplies and put personnel at risk during an emergency.

The review of the agency's information-sharing system shows it was overwhelmed during the 2004 hurricane season which saw four hurricanes rip across Florida.

In a response last month, Brown and a deputy rejected the audit, calling it unacceptable, erroneous and negative.

Yeah. They should, like, do it over. And this time dot all the I's with smiley faces.

Daily Kos: Cheers and Jeers: Thursday


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