8/17/2005

Daily Kos: Virulent STD Alert

Virulent STD Alert
by semiot [Subscribe]
Wed Aug 17th, 2005 at 07:52:01 CDT

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning
about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted
Disease.

This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.

Scientists have dubbed the malady Gonorrhea Lectim.

* semiot's diary :: ::
*

Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome social disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with
Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:

anti-social personality disorder traits;

inability to tell the truth;

delusions of grandeur with a distinct
messianic flavor;

chronic mangling of the English
language;

extreme cognitive dissonance;

inability to incorporate new information;

pronounced xenophobia;

inability to accept responsibility for actions;

exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;

uncontrolled facial smirking;

ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;

strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing
behavior.

The disease is swept Washington, trailer parks, corporate boardrooms last fall. Outbreaks are continuing, expecially in the red states. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago, from a mutant strain of Texas Bush Bug.

Daily Kos: Virulent STD Alert

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