11/07/2004

Don't give the hungry man a fish

Don't give the hungry man a fish

Democrat: Give him "fish stamps", a house and some money, send him to mandatory "Fish sensitivity class", optional "Humane fishing" classes and forbid fishing on the river behind his house to protect the spotted Alaskan snails

Republican: Let he teach himself how to fish, I did why can't he ? Dump toxical waste on the river behind his house and approve no overtime pay for his boss, who was getting discouraged of investing in the country by having to pay all those 20-40 hours per week overtime. Outsource fishing to Asia

Libertarian: And how's that MY problem ? He's free to eat sand for all I care. Now, about my tax cut...

Communist: The government has to confiscate all fish and fishing equipment around, to redistribute to the hungry masses. We'll set up a Fish Redistribution Committee with my brother-in-law at the head of it. Form lines at the market to wait for fish comming from the Fish transport Lines, headed by my uncle, who will resume operations as soon as he come back from his Dacha. Two months later the Fish arrive, 2 months ripe and is distributed fair and square between the market official and the truck driver. All line cutters and malcontents are sent to siberia

Socialist: Set up Fishing schools in all neighborhoods, forbid fishing to protect the spotted Alaskan snail. Write existentialist books about the "umbearable lightness of fishing".

Constitutionalist: It's not on the Constitution, don't bother me. Tell the lazy arse to enlist and go protect his country, then he will earn a meal.

Green: Pelt the man with green paint for thinking of harming the poor fishie. Organize sing-a-thons on the river beds to uplift the fish's morals. Forbid fishing to protect the spotted alaskan snail. Write a new scathing article about the Fish Rights and the evil corporate thugs who trample on them. Tell the poor man to stop salivating or he will be fined for polluting the rivers.

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