11/03/2004

Daily Kos :: Don't Blame Me (humor)

Daily Kos :: Don't Blame Me (humor)

Don't Blame Me (humor)
by Martial
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Wed Nov 3rd, 2004 at 17:03:42 CDT

Two years from now, when US troops are gearing up for the fifth "final" assault on Falluja in order to break we-really-mean-it-this-time the back of the insurgency, when the housing bubble has popped and the unemployment rate is climbing toward European heights, when you can actually see the arsenic in your tap water, when your high school's biology teacher has been disappeared for lecturing on evolution, when Osama bin Laden is welcomed as a regular guest on Crossfire . . .

Two years from now, we'll see a lot of folks jumping on the "don't blame me" bandwagon. It'll be harder finding folks who admit voting B/C than it is to find a sober Democrat today. It's all (ahem) part of Bush's doing whatever he can to create an environment where people take responsibility for their actions and accountability (like freedom) reigns.

So, we need a snappy slogan. We want our car to be the first one on the block to capture the zeitgeist in a bumper sticker. The classic is, of course, 1973's "Don't Blame Me: I'm From Massachusetts".

I have a few suggestions below, but we've got at least two years to get through, so help me out here:

Diaries :: Martial's diary ::

The early leader among bloggers and readers of the New York Times is, no doubt, "Don't Blame Me: I'm from the Reality-Based Community". But this suffers from the crucial flaw that no one else will know what the hell you're talking about.

"Don't Blame Me: I'm Blue", while undeniably true, suffers from pandering to the impression that Democrats and liberals are depressed and humorless. We can't have that - since the only thing we've got for the next two years is our sense of humor. Black humor, but humor nonetheless.

There are fish-in-a-barrel ones like:
"Don't Blame Me: I Voted for the Smart One"
"Don't Blame Me: I Voted for Competence"
"Don't Blame Me: I Voted for Young and Responsible"

There are direct references to the election:
"Don't Blame Me: I'm Almost in the Majority"
"Don't Blame Me: My Vote Was Suppressed"
"Don't Blame Me: I Voted Electronically . . . D'oh!"

There are topical ones and ones against the whole Bush gangsta' style:
"Don't Blame Me: I Voted Against Halliburton"
"Don't Blame Me: I didn't vote for his dad either"
"Don't Blame Me: I Voted Against Torture"

Or we could state simple, eloquent truths:

"Don't Blame Me: I Voted for the Churchgoer"

"Don't Blame Me: I Voted for the Veteran"

"Don't Blame Me: I Voted for Kerry"

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